It can also be part of the scene itself, such as if the submissive is roleplaying as a little girl with her daddy (this is called “age play”). For example, a submissive male may start yelping at his domme that she’s not making him smell her feet exactly like he wants. T is for Topping From The Bottom Topping from the bottom refers to when a bottom (sub) gets bratty and tries to control the scene even though negotiations state they should submit. S is for Switch A switch is someone who enjoys both the dominant and submissive role. Another set of guidelines are the “SSC,” which stresses keeping activities “safe, sane, and consensual.” We kinksters want everyone to feel happy and fulfilled, and only experience pain that they desire-without actual harm. R is for RACK RACK stands for Risk Aware Consensual Kink, which are the BDSM community guidelines on how to make sure everyone is aware of the dangers they consent to. Sometimes the queen will sit on her submissive’s face for like, hours. It’s just a glam name for face-sitting, often used in D/S play. the queen you must worship, sits on your face. Q is for Queening Queening is when a woman, a.k.a. P is for Painslut A painslut is a dope-ass submissive who knows what they want, and that’s pain, dammit. Leather shorts, leather paddles, and leather corsets are popular, although increasingly kinky retailers provide vegan options for their animal-loving geeks. L is for Leather The BDSM community enjoys leather as much as you’d expect. Call me a prude, but I wouldn’t advise it on a first Tinder date. Often knife play doesn’t actually involve drawing blood, but is done more for the psychological thrill, such as gliding a knife along a partner’s body to induce an adrenaline rush. It’s considered a form of edgeplay (our parents told us not to play with knives for a reason.) If you do play with knives, do it with someone who truly respects you and whom you trust. K is for Knife Play Knife play is, well, knife sex. It’s a method of restraint, but also an art form. J is for Japanese Bondage The most well-known type of Japanese bondage is Shibari, in which one partner ties up the other in beautiful and intricate patterns using rope. I is for Impact Play Impact play refers to any impact on the body, such as spanking, caning, flogging, slapping, etc. Use it in a sentence: “Please do not pee on me golden showers are one of my hard limits.” Everyone has their own, and you have to discuss these boundaries before any BDSM play. H is for Hard Limits Hard limits are sexual acts that are off-limits. This is not the same thing as a golden shower. It’s high time for the BDSM community to reclaim this word from Donald Trump, who, may I remind you, allegedly paid sex workers to pee on a bed that Obama slept in out of spite. G is for Golden Showers A golden shower is when you lovingly shower your partner with your piss. Foot fetishists may enjoy worshiping a foot, kissing it, smelling it, massaging it, getting a footjob, licking it, sucking on toes, or ( actually) getting stepped on. There’s often cuddling and always conversation kinksters need love too.į is for Foot Fetish One of the most common fetishes out there, a foot fetish is an attraction-often a need-for feet. BDSM releases endorphins, which can lead to both dominants and submissives experiencing a “drop.” Aftercare can help prevent that. The dominant partner may bring the submissive ice for any bruises, but it’s important to know that aftercare involves emotional care as well as physical. Whatever you're into, just make sure to snuggle and practice lots of aftercare when it's all said and done, especially if anyone involved is a painslut and needs ice after some impact play.Īt press time, “kink” is not a language you can learn on Duolingo, so here’s a handy glossary of some of the most common BDSM terms, from A to Z.Ī is for Aftercare Aftercare is the practice of checking in with one another after a scene (or “play session,” a.k.a., the time in which the BDSM happens) to make sure all parties feel nice and chill about what just went down. Beyond that, there’s a whole language to describe the consensual power exchange practices that take place under the BDSM umbrella. Since all that terminology can be intimidating for newcomers, let’s start with the basics: “BDSM” stands for bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, sadism and masochism-the core pillars of kinky fun. The world of BDSM contains not only its own sex acts (Is smelling a foot sex? Sure, if it gets you off!), but its own highly-robust vocabulary, too.
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